Time
by Heart-of-Moons
Summary: Hatori reflects on his love for Kana, blaming only himself for the pain that was brought. He alone has to bear the pain now, and only time can heal it. Because time brings spring. Oneshot.


_Tick-tock. Tick-tock. Tick-tock._ The monotonous sound of the pendulum clock droned on. _Time_ was always ticking. Never stopped. Just as the snow always flittered from the sky every winter, and come spring it would melt as if it never graced this earth. Even if _time_ never stopped, however, it seemed to slow, leaving _time_ for me to writhe in _eternal_ misery. I glanced out the window at that shimmering snow that laid on the frozen ground. Even though the sun gazed down at it with its light, it was not enough to melt it.

_"What does it become when the snow melts?"_ My heart twisted in agony as the clouds masked the sun's rays, making the atmosphere _dark_ and _cold_. Even when _time_ brought spring, it was hardly believable it would melt this snow. Colors began to fade as the world turned _cold_. The melted ice began to freeze once again over _time_. Cracks remained in the areas that had thawed, leaving permanent scars that would be hidden with more ice in _time_. For now, the scars were only precious _memories_. Memories that were painful, but to never be forgotten.

Looking at her picture was difficult, knowing that the memories were only mine alone. Every day I hoped that she was well. That she was happy. That she was... _Loved_. Kana...

_"Hatori, I'm so glad to have met you. I'm even happier to have fallen in love with you."_ The same person she said that to had failed her. He failed her. _I _failed _her_. She believed otherwise. _"I'm so sorry I wasn't able to protect you. Forgive me."_ It wasn't her fault. It was _mine_. I fell in love as if it was inevitable. I was wrong to do that. So _wrong_.

_"Kana and I wish to be married."_ It was wrong of me to think that it was allowed. For a zodiac member to be allowed such happiness. The next thing I had known, the painted vase was thrusted towards me and the pain came soon after.

_"No! I won't allow it! I refuse to allow it!"_ My blood had formed a puddle on the floor, making me realize that I had been so _wrong_. I had awoken from my dream, realizing that all of that happiness was an _illusion_.

_"Hatori, what's wrong? Hatori..."_ Akito had asked me with concern as I held my eye and felt the unbearable _pain_. He then turned to her with anger. He pointed his finger at _her_. _"You did this! It's your fault! If Hatori loses his sight it's your fault! It's your fault!"_ I knew she was horrified. Terrified. Afraid. _"Do you think you can live the Sohma curse? Do you?!"_

I had been brought back to the reality of life. I wondered how I could have been so _wrong_. So _selfish_. Selfish to think that I had been saved. That I was _free_. That I was _allowed_ to be _happy_. Kana was convinced it was _her_ fault, however.

Countless _times_ I had attempted to tell her that it was my own fault. To tell her that it was _me_ that was _wrong_. But the _damage_ had already been done. The _guilt_ she felt _consumed_ her. Began to destroy her. She became her worst _enemy_, and it was _my fault_. To watch her writhe in _pain_ and slowly _fade_ away was agonizing.

_I_ was the one to have brought her _suffering_. I was also the sole person capable of _saving_ her. It was her _feelings_ for me that brought such grief. Her _memories_ with me. It was difficult to _accept_ the fact that it was the only way to save her- to _erase_ her memory of me.

_"It would have been better... Better if you and I had never met."_ It was the only thing I could do for her. My final act of _love_ for her.

_"Thank you, Kana. It'll be all right now. You won't have to be troubled over me any longer. I hope one day that you will meet someone who will make you happy."_ I held her hand with my own cold hand. _"It is my dearest wish that you do."_

_"Hatori... I'm so sorry. I wasn't able to protect you." _She cried for me_. "Forgive me."_ I took her memories, knowing it was best. I didn't want to do it, but that would have been selfish of me. She needed someone else that would love her and never bring her any pain.

Kana was a lesson to remember to protect others. To protect them, it is best to never have gotten close to them. I'm the one to save any others that stumble across the Sohma curse before they feel the pain as Kana did.


End file.
